Renewal: Loving the Unlovable — Conversation with Tamara Brown

Renwal: Our theme for the week led me to a new podcast series: “Loving the Unlovable” First up, a conversation with my sister, Tamara Brown. Her MA in Human Development is what got me to call her but it was our relationship as sisters that helped us talk about the unlovable.

Literally, my sister didn’t have a photo of herself so I went to unsplash and typed in “unlovable” This is what I got!

What makes us lovable?

Why is that such a cringey question? My sister and I dive in, staying on the edges of her professional background as a child development expert but really talking a lot about where we are as far as our lovability.

The idea for this series came from fellow podcaster, Leah Carey, whose podcast, Good Girls Talk About Sex is, IMHO, a must listen.

Learning to love the unlovable bits about us — including the unlovable bits in our friends and neighbours suffering from narcissistic personality disorder or similarly challenging mental illnesses — is really in large part what being human is all about.

If you come from a Christian perspective (as I do) your one job is to love your neighbour as you love yourself. Our first step, then, is to learn to love our unlovable bits to pieces so that we can go out into the world and love each other to the same degree.

Tammy and I talk about weight, sexual orientation, disordered eating, sexual abuse, racism (though we just touch on this as neither of us is a POC), and more. We learn that one of us feels that she loves herself while the other isn’t quite there yet.

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Notes:

• James Fallon — Neuroscientist who discovered that he suffers from psycopathy and has since become an advocate for the disorder; challenging people to train themselves to be pro-social (my cliff notes)

  Onward. With deeper love:

The Underbelly Project: A weekly workout for your emotional strength and flexibility. If you’re not afraid to get dusty and maybe laugh a bit together, join me and let’s get emotionally strong.

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.